The Fall of a Floozy
Eleven days ago, I drove all the way into Dallas for an appointment at the UT Southwestern dental clinic. I misjudged the distance to the sidewalk curb and fell in the parking lot. I fell hard breaking my left arm, my dominant arm, in two places near the shoulder, shattering my eyeglasses into who knows how many pieces, bruising my left hip, leg, and big toe, and scraping the hide off of a few fingers of my left hand.
Stubborn old floozy that I am, I staggered into the dental clinic to keep my appointment. I couldn’t read the new patient paperwork and when asked to sign it, I discovered holding a pen caused excruciating pain. My dentist took one look at me and told me I needed to go to the hospital.
One of the hallmarks of being a floozy is that we are cheap when it comes to spending our own money. As luck would have it, the UT Southwestern hospital was across the street. So, I declined the thousand-dollar ambulance ride, staggered through the parking lot, crossed the infamous Harry Hines Boulevard, and into the emergency room.
I’ve noticed I’ve used the word “stagger” a lot in describing my ambulatory movement, Floozies are well acquainted with staggering, but this time there was no liquor involved.
Frustrations of a One-Handed Floozy
They put my arm in a sling, prescribed a copious amount of pain killers and sent me home for two weeks. This time will let most of the swelling to subside and allow the bone to begin healing. If lucky, I won’t need surgery when I see the orthopedic doctor at the end of the two weeks. With or without surgery, it will be a few months before I regain the full use of my left arm.
Being left-handed mean you have some amount of ambidexterity in order to function in a right-handed universe. However, it is amazing the number of simple tasks you have to relearn, including wiping your own butt.
Meanwhile, I’m stuck spending a lot of time in a chair in front of the television. Of course, without my glasses, most of everything is a bit blurry. Yesterday, I cajoled my son into taking me to see the eye doctor. Got a new prescription and a bit of bad news. The doctor suggested that a factor in my fall may have been due to cataracts. Evidently, even on the sunniest of days, cataracts affect the amount light allowed into the eyes on which we make spatial judgement. Looks as though the floozy will be having cataract surgery once the arm and teeth are dealt with. Sigh, getting old is not for the weak.
A brief note on glasses. My son insisted I buy two pair, to avoid my current situation in the future. I selected two inexpensive frames, but was flabbergasted by the cost of the lenses, who knew the bottom of Coke bottles would so valuable. Thanks to COVID, my next day glasses will be ready in a week to ten days. (Get vaccinated, people!)
Learning to Write with the Wrong Hand
Ok, the Floozy fell, is buggered up, and won’t be doing any hobbying or gaming for a while right? Well, at first, I thought that would be the case. But then I remembered the godfather of fantasy art, Frank Franzetta, suffered medical issues including strokes in his later years that left his right arm mostly paralyzed, so the master learned to draw and paint with his left hand.
That means the floozy is going to try to learn to paint with her right hand and finish the projects this injury has stalled.
There is still a lot of exciting things happening in the tabletop gaming world. For example, Acheson Creations is closing his shop after 22 years. Now is the time to purchase some of the great terrain pieces and wildlife miniatures. Please don’t miss this opportunity. He has sculpts and pieces that are nearly impossible to find elsewhere. Another example is that Army Painter is releasing a line of SpeedPaints similar to GW Contrst paints next month at half the price. Plus, the floozy has found a great tutorial on trees and refurbishing trees.
This week, I’ve discovered the most important tool to use while recovering from an arm injury: a big ol’ wooden spoon! It can reach and scratch all of those hard-to-reach places,
And a specal shoutout to the doctor who told me I’m too young to be old!